Dear God,

i understand your sunsets now...they balance out the pain of the rest of the day...and of days before...and of days to come...those couple of minutes...i thank you for them...i just want to know why i was meant for so much fucking pain...i know you've seen me crying in my bed asking you "why?"...just repeating it...and repeating it...why?..all i ever needed was love...instead you gave me a so called "gift" that allows me to tell the whole world, in a very prolific manner, about how bad it feels to be crushed...thank you...maybe it's not me...maybe she's just scared...but i can't stop telling her and i can't stop loving her...and i wonder if you ever knew how it felt to speak such beautiful words filled with truth and the response was laughter..."john, you are the cutest thing i've ever seen"...yeah, i am adorable...thank you very fucking much for that god...that does me real good...ask her for a kiss and more laughter...thank you god...thank you for the gift you gave me...i don't know what i'd do without it...i'd probably smile...i'd probably be happy...i guess i'll be happy when i'm dead and i see the roses on my grave...watch her kiss my cold lips from the clouds...thank you god...thank you for my pain...i owe you one...
sincerely,
john


... ouch ... your pain is so palpable ... and i ached when you said "and i wonder if you ever knew how it felt to speak such beautiful words filled with truth and the response was laughter" ... perhaps because i do know what that is like ... don't curse your "gift" as you put it ... one's command over words should only be revered ... and soon, you will get what you give, tenfold ...
Posted 7/6/2004 1:58 PM by gods_baby_angel

DAMN!!

i really thought we were on the same level of pain...

maybe not though....i moved on......i became numb..... just like u said i would......i'm sorry i gave up....but it was killing me...& the hardest thing about this world is just 2 live in it.......so i'm trying 2 make it as easy as possible.......

Posted 7/6/2004 3:37 PM by kAnDi_KrIsSy

I am very sorry you're in such pain, but why blame this on God? Since when does God play Cupid to fulfill our desires and human wishes? He is above all that and can see how things will fall in place when we can't. What you should ask yourself is why does this girl mean so much to you if she treats you that way? She doesn't deserve your love. Anyone who throws something like that away is (for lack of a better adjective) not very nice. I am truly sorry you're hurting, but remember: once you hit the bottom, the only way to go is up. ---Praying 4 ya!
Posted 7/8/2004 9:43 PM by AcrosstheSky